Liberty Church Blackpool

I was brought up near Liverpool as part of a Roman Catholic family, and have always felt called to minister to God's people in some way. From an early age I wanted to become a priest, something which was to rule my life for a long time.

During my teenage years I became involved with the charismatic movement within the RC tradition, and soon discovered and developed my musical skills within this context. In the Summer of 1988 I went to Lourdes in the South of France, a popular place of pilgrimage for Roman Catholics. I was there as part of the Youth Service, assisting the many sick pilgrims who had travelled there. Around this time I was also having doubts about entering the priesthood. One evening, one of the other youth teams gave a short presentation about how we could serve God in our daily lives and build up the Kingdom together. We were each given a paper brick, with a quote from the Bible on the back as a suggestion for reflection. The Scripture I was given was this: You are the rock, and on this rock I will build my church (Matthew 16:18). At the time my interpretation was that I should enter the priesthood, so I committed myself to using my life doing the Lord’s work, and a year later off I went to college.

During my time at college studying to be a priest I experienced further doubts, but I was reassured that this was a perfectly normal, natural, human reaction. Nevertheless, while my mum was praying for the situation one evening, she received a vision from the Lord. She saw me following Christ along the road to ordained RC ministry, and as she drew closer she saw that Christ’s hands were tied. The message she received on account of this vision was simple: if I continued along that path, Jesus would be unable to carry out the work that he wanted to do through me: in other words, his hands would be tied. Meanwhile, in my own prayer I was given the following Scripture: The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners…(Isaiah 61:1-11)

Shortly after this time, having completed four years’ training of a total of six, I was asked to spend a year in a parish environment to gain some practical experience. It was then that I realised that this was not the Lord’s work for me at this time, so after only six months I decided to leave. Over the next few years I drifted through life, with no sense of purpose or direction. Then in 1997 I found myself living and working in Chester and, still wanting to become involved in the church, I went to see if I could join the music group. As it happened the group was in desperate need of a leader, so they asked me to take over. This was an answer to prayer for all concerned, and I ended up leading the group for five years.

During this time thoughts of priesthood kept coming back to mind, so in 2001 I applied to continue my studies. But before sending me to college, the bishop asked me to spend some time in a parish environment as before. In 2002 I took up residence at a church in Birkenhead, and ended up staying for two years. This was a very beneficial time in many respects, not least in terms of personal development. I learned that service in the church is simply about using your gifts and being yourself, and I identified two key areas that actually pointed me away from priesthood. Firstly, my gifts are centred around music; perhaps this is what God had been calling me to? I also came to accept my gay sexuality, which I had been fighting for most of my life. In this context, I also felt the Lord calling me to ministry within the GLBT community.

Between the Summers of 2004 and 2005, I stopped attending church regularly for the first time in my life. This was not a rejection of God, but rather a need within myself to spend some time “in the desert” so to speak. Church ministry had always meant priesthood for me, so I needed time to reflect on the way forward without that distraction.

In the Autumn of 2005 I finally summoned up the courage to attend the Metropolitan Community Church in Manchester, which is where I met Jim and Nina before they founded Liberty Church in Blackpool. We soon discovered that I had the musical skills they needed, so we agreed to work together. Again, it was an answer to prayer for all of us.

The period of time that passed, from when I committed myself to doing the Lord’s work to when I began my ministry at Liberty Church, was 18 years. It is no coincidence that, in Biblical terms, the number 18 represents bondage. For 18 years I was in bondage to a limited view of the church and an even more limited view of ministry, and I effectively kept Christ’s hands - and my own - tied during that time. But now the Lord has set me free from that bondage! He has anointed me in the presence of his people, at Liberty Church, to carry out the work he has for me. He is allowing me to minister by using my musical gifts, but is also showing me new gifts I didn‘t have before.

The Scripture from Isaiah is being fulfilled in my own life, as the Lord gives me the strength and perseverance to work with offenders in the community, helping to set them free from the things that imprison them and keep them in bondage to a criminal lifestyle. The Scripture from Matthew is also being fulfilled, and will continue to be fulfilled, so long as I keep this rock firmly embedded in the rock of Christ, the cornerstone. It is no coincidence that the National Probation Service, for which I work, was originally a Christian organisation - it too had Christ at its foundation.

God does everything in God’s own time, often to our frustration. When I was given the little paper brick in 1988, I never imagined it would lead to this. Yet it is clear that the promise made to me then is being fulfilled now, 18 years later, as God asks me to help build his church according to his plan, not mine.